180 days.
6 months.
I was never planning on chanting So Purkh for so long. I don’t think any of the meditations I’ve done have been for nearly so long. Every time I came across a milestone I would check in with myself to see if it was time to stop chanting and every time I was told “Keep chanting.”.
So I have.
I’ve found strange ways of making So Purkh fit into my life. It’s brought with it ecstatic experiences and feelings I didn’t even know I had. I have witnessed it teaching me something new almost every week. There are phases. Sometimes the phase is more external or more internal. Sometimes there’s lots of anger or grief or sometimes a lot of gratitude.
So Purkh has a wisdom of its own that speaks to the experiencer of the meditation. The voice is subtle but it can be seen weaving its way through the sinews of the body slowly eradicating all unneeded stored belief systems or traumas. It draws to me the tools I need to get to where I want to go faster and lets me stand stronger internally. I am not nearly as reactive as I once was and when I do react its often a sign of a trigger I can take a step back at and look at.
I have found that sometimes I’m all about chanting and other times I can’t bring myself to chant it at all. Those days that I can’t I simply listen to it, or fall asleep with it playing. I let it be what it is: sometimes I fall asleep while listening to it, and I know that the energy is still flowing in my life because I’ve dedicated that time for it. I’ve shown up to So Purkh. I’ve come despite internal resistance and sometimes great tiredness. All I can do is listen in that moment.
Over the past five weeks I have also been chanting with a group of women in my community through a once a week yoga course dedicated to So Purkh. Its been really interesting to notice that every one seems to go through similar phases: boundaries, asking for needs, men revealing their true colours, etc. Of course, there are variations of experience within these broader themes, but the similarities are glaring.
I have no idea when I’m going to stop chanting, but I’m going to keep going until it feels complete. Oi!
