As it often happens, I’ve noticed, when you do a lot of Kundalini Yoga meditations it begins with me not noticing anything really changing. I do one for a week and I add another one. And then I add another one.
Suddenly the world is moving fast. I’m in a stream of energy holding by breath as I hang on to the crest of the wave. Around me everything is changing. Its changing fast, its moving almost effortlessly, and its often overwhelming.
When people ask me how I am right now I don’t know how to answer them. There are so many amazing things happening in my life right now. I can only grin at you. More than one friend has heard about my life as of late and asked me, “What ARE those meditations you are doing?”
And to be honest, I blame all the changes on the meditations I’m doing.
But when you ask me how I am, I don’t know how to answer you. I am freaked out. I am changing. My life is changing. How I perceive myself and the world around me is changing. The way people respond to me is changing. What I do on a day to day basis is even changing.
And I am walking into the unknown right now.
And I can’t tell you where I will be in a month from now.
Because right now, every few days, there is a major shift occurring in my life.
It is amazing to witness. I realize part of what I’m learning is to be okay with the unknown. To be honest, I am surprised I have such trouble with it. I love adventure. One of my greatest fears though is that I will end up homeless again.
Yet I feel the need to surrender to this process and do my best to trust the new path opening up before me will take care of my Earthly needs so much more than anything else.
P.S. I’m still doing the Grace of God, Ardas Bhee and Ancestral Karma Clearing meditations. They actually make a really beautiful combination.
Do you feel at home in your body?
It’s beautiful to hear of your journey. It’s a magnificent feeling to walk into the unknown. However I would add that you can know where you want to be in a month. It takes imagination and desire , and consistency in focus. You create your own world 🙂
Hello,
Thanks for reading my journey! I appreciate your comment. I didn’t know how to respond to your comment for a while – I didn’t know how to answer “Do you feel at home in your body?”. I was like “of course, what a strange question!”. But in further meditation practices I’ve seen how complicated my answer to this question is. Yes, sometimes, I notice I project out of my body when this happens, sometimes I don’t want to be here here, and so on.
I have a hard time with the statement “You create your own world.” While I see that for sure, and there seem to be something that we don’t consciously create in life. Perhaps they are karmas, subconscious patterns in our DNA, I don’t know. I’ve worked so hard to create certain things in my reality and it just has not worked. I’ve given up trying to make it work. At this point in my life, I’m only 24 years old, yet I feel exhausted by life. I’ve given up results and just focus on my own growth, nurturing, and development because the outside circumstances feel so flimsy and untrustworthy at the moment.
Thanks for the encouragement! I will keep consistent with my practices ~ my imagination is no problem. 😉